Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. –AL I:40
I am always amazed by the ‘anonymous’ people on the elists who claim they’re real Thelemites but get upset when someone else does their own Will, rather than doing what they thinks that person should be doing. What is wrong with this picture? When did our Thelemic Rights get pushed into becoming what others think we must do?
For the record, I’d like to begin by saying that we Corneliuses have great passion for the Ordo Templi Orientis. We always have and both always will. That is why we fight so hard. If you have presumed our battles imply that we hate the Order then you are greatly mistaken. Furthermore, I did not ‘sell-out’ to stay in the OTO as some have speculated on the elists. If you’ve been following the chain of events as they unfolded you would have realized that since the beginning Frater Hymenaeus Beta wanted me expelled. And yet, in the end, I’m still a member. If I had ‘sold-out’ and did what he wanted, I would have accepted my expulsion and gone quietly.
On the night of Sunday, April 29th when Frater Hymenaeus Beta came to my house we had a four and a half hour marathon discussion. We agreed to disagree on A.’.A.’. issues and acknowledged that our differences have no place in the Ordo Templi Orientis. In coming to this mutual realization, I achieved my goal.
The only sticky point to my reinstatement was Frater HB’s belief that I broke my Oaths. We discussed in-depth our personal views on re-publishing OTO ‘secrets’ which are already in print, such as those in Francis King’s Secret Rituals and other sources. I explained that according to Frater Hymenaeus Alpha (Grady McMurtry) this was not a violation of Oaths. Frater HB denied this, claiming Grady never said this, and then he asked, if so, where? I pointed out my source and he conceded that Grady had indeed stated such but said he was wrong. I said OK then, wrong or right, that is what I learned to be the Truth as told to me in a Temple so I’m not in violation of my Oaths. Frater HB then started re-defining my Oaths taken with Grady, trying to get me to concede how Grady was wrong and that his views [i.e. HB’s] of the Oath were right. I refused to accept such and he got pointed saying how this was something I had to understand and do, as if to imply, if I didn’t, my suspension wouldn’t be lifted. At the time I was very hot, point my finger at him and told him in no uncertain terms, rather loudly, that I wasn’t going to break my Oaths sworn in the Temple [to fit his new views] and if that’s what he’s demanding, quote, “You can shove this fucking Order up your ass!” Yes, I was rather loud. We were in my backyard and the neighbors four doors down could have heard me. Later, when Frater HB discussed my Oaths being broken in relationship to my incarnations, past and present and, how I’m jeopardizing my overall Will, I told him, “Don’t you dare fucking tell me what my Will is, past or present, unless you’re walking in my Star!” He backtracked himself by saying: no, no that’s not what I’m asking you to do, “I don’t want you to break your Oaths” nor am I trying to define your Will. After more discussion, we walked away from this subject saying that we both agree that what I ‘believed’ was true [regarding my Oaths], was true back then under Grady but such beliefs have changed and are no longer valid within Frater HB’s framework. I had already known this, so to me it was no big deal admitting it. He then honestly and in fairness asked, “Can you follow my views?” I smiled, sat back in my chair and told him that didn’t have a problem with following OTO policy — but I would not break my Oaths. Some might argue that the solution hinged on ‘semantics’ but to a magician such semantics reach to the very core of their being.
The bottom line is that Frater HB and I haggled out some of our differences or, enough to Fraternally co-exist. Is this not what the word ‘Fraternal’ is all about? However, this does not mean that I won’t get into his face again. I will fight injustice at every turn and I will speak out rather loudly whenever it rears its ugly head. That is my Thelemic Right. I love what the OTO stands for, or could stand for, and I also believe that what many disgruntled people around the world are saying is true. But I will fight my battles from within the Order as they choose the grounds to fight theirs. I strongly believe that if you’re a Thelemite you must give me that Thelemic Right.
Finally, if people have read and, more importantly, understood my previous writings they’d realize that the Corneliuses have never bought into Frater Hymenaeus Beta’s view that the Thelemic world is at war. I explained this very clearly and carefully to Frater HB, to his face. I told him that I don’t see a them and us. The world is not simply black and white. I believe such labels are petty and often unproductive.
With this in mind, I wish to salute everyone on the elists who hate Frater Hymenaeus Beta so passionately that they’ve become the very thing they hate. What I’m saying is that you can not accuse Frater HB or others of doing certain unscrupulous things like spewing forth lies, misconceptions and doing petty gutter attacks on people’s personal characters when you’re doing the same thing yourself on the elists. What many seemingly forget is that everyone shits and no one is exempt from doing asinine things. We’re all human. If you want to trash anyone, including myself, there is usually enough stupid things done throughout a life to fuel any writer with dirt and gossip.
However, it is my opinion that instead of simply slandering others you should be spending more time promulgating the Laws of Thelema in a more positive Light. I believe if you can give credence to the fact that there is something wrong with the system—change it. That is what the Corneliuses did and what we fought so hard to achieve. If you read my earlier Epistles you’d realize that what I accomplished in the end by being reinstated is the majority of what I screamed about in the beginning. I used pen in hand, waving the banner of Liber OZ as my shield, to write out the injustices as I saw them. I postulated strongly that my actions would inevitably produce change. Which, in the end, produces stability for All. Stamping your feet, bitching, crying, bad mouthing and using the elists to simply jab from the shadows while using aliases out of fear of being sued for slander is the coward’s way to act. It’s merely the act of sticking your foot down your throat and out your ass in order to look as if you’re standing perfectly erect while claiming to speak the truth. However, the foot which you’re now standing upon, or rather you’re credibility, is noticeably covered in shit.
“…. the world of Magic is a mirror, wherein who sees muck is muck!”
Love is the law, love under will. AL I:57
Frater Achad Osher 583
May 27th, 2001 ev
[Editor: Some spelling errors have been corrected in the letters & emails
which are quoted in this Epistle for the reader’s convenience.]