Too many A.’.A.’. applications present a slick, buttoned-up picture of a generic spiritual seeker. One of the questions we ask—and recommend everyone ask themselves regardless of whether they’re interested in joining our A.’.A.’.—is “what tortured your soul?”
What has tortured your soul? What has brought you to the brink of despair? How have you overcome? What burns in you? What brings you to bliss? What themes keep coming up? What specific experiences give your life its characteristic color and texture? Is there a soundtrack? Have certain books or pieces of art struck you like lightning? What has your daemon been whispering to you… or shouting? If you were a character in a book, what is his or her story? How would you write it?
In the A.’A.’., you in fact are a character in a book—your Magickal Autobiography. You (the aspirant) are also the Author. You write yourself into Life, remaining true to the facts (which is why you must keep an honest and thorough diary about your daily life, thoughts, feelings, dreams, practices, etc.).
As Grady used to say, paraphrasing George Bernard Shaw, “If you have skeletons in your closet, you’d better teach them to dance.” Pretending to be perfect creates awful mess.